Marital Therapy / Couples Therapy
–How does collaborative therapy help the anxiety-driven couple?
Marital Therapy / Couples Therapy at Bellevue WA
Couples entering therapy often have a significant anxiety in their relationship. And their relationship is not strong enough to have this powerful agent named. Over time the anxiety becomes thick therefore blocking the positive flow of communication. The anxiety is a symptom of a loss of voice (for each partner), an inability to share deeper feelings that can generate positivity. And what is the fundamental ingredient of positive communication in an intimate relationship? Research indicates and experience supports that honest self-disclosure remains the most positive, life-giving ingredient for a couple.
Couples experiencing intimacy speak about a liberating freedom coming first and foremost from feeling safe with each other. But couples entering therapy are not experiencing the fruits of an intimate relationship. What can the anxiety-driven couple do to build intimacy? They have to find a new language of communicating. And this new language is hard to apprehend for the stressed couple because they are tired, exhausted from the habitual dialogue that has amassed. Originally they held the promise of life-giving connection but that has been lost and sadly replaced with an ongoing hurt of each other. Unresolved emotional pain disturbs body, soul and spirit.
In these challenged cases, the temptation for both clients and therapists is to rely primarily on the acquisition of communication techniques. But for the tired couple entering therapy this actually can become another roadblock to freedom. They just don’t have and hold the energy of hope and this deficit is often used as a weapon against each other. Blaming becomes the norm. Learning the language of intimacy is fundamentally about discovering the courage to express one’s self in the relationship. How does collaborative therapy help the anxiety-driven couple? Inviting me as therapist into your relationship is the vital first step.
I will commit to functioning as both an outsider and an insider to your relationship. I will not take sides or get hung up in your conflict. But I will get significantly involved in your withdrawn state(s). I will strive to become a translator/interpreter of what you are really trying to say to the other by listening at a deeper level. My experience has been that couples who commit to this challenge can experience a liberation of self and a deeper, safer bond to each other. Your relationship becomes the curative force to dealing with life’s challenges along with the family-of-origin issues that aggravate your relationship. Becoming safe to each other holds the restorative power necessary to succeed. I would be honored to work with you and facilitate the growth you each deeply desire.
Marital Therapy / Couples Therapy
Author : Douglas J. Wheeler, Ph.D., LMHC
Licensed Mental Health Counselor
Please contact Douglas Wheeler for further information.